


Falling Further All the Time

by welcometotheuniverse



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, Dark Doctor (Doctor Who), F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-10-30 23:30:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17838083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/welcometotheuniverse/pseuds/welcometotheuniverse
Summary: This started off as a Resolution fix-it, but it got away from me.Yaz sees the Doctor snap, and she has some mixed feelings about it. Fluff follows.





	1. Confrontation

**Author's Note:**

> In which Yaz sees the dark side of the Doctor and doesn't know what to make of it.

The Doctor had dropped Graham and Ryan off at their flat with Lin and Mitch so she could confront the Dalek alone, but Yaz had insisted on coming with her. She was now cowering in a corner as the Doctor attempted to negotiate with what she dubbed the most dangerous creature in the universe.  
"You can't send out that signal," the Doctor exclaimed, "because you don't have the strength!"  
The Dalek spoke in its robotic voice, "You are weak, humanity is weak."  
"Except," replied the Doctor, with a sneer, "I'm not human. Have a scan!"  
The Dalek scanned her and recoiled, which confused Yaz. From what the Doctor had said about Daleks, they didn't possess emotions other than hatred. They truly believed they were supreme and had no fear of anything. So why was this Dalek acting suspiciously scared of the Doctor?  
"Who are you?" It asked. And Yaz could have sworn she heard fear edging its tone.  
"Oh mate," said the Doctor with a smile that genuinely terrified Yaz, "I'm the Doctor. Ring any bells?"  
With that, the Dalek overrode her sonic screwdriver.  
"Exterminate!"  
"I'll take that as a yes!" the Doctor cried, rolling away from the Dalek and flipping over a table to hide behind a dumpster.  
(Yaz though this was incredibly attractive, but filed that information away for a more appropriate time.)  
"The Doctor is an enemy of the Daleks. Exterminate!" The Dalek screamed.  
Yaz was thrown off by the whole situation. An enemy of the Daleks she could accept. After all, everything that wasn't a Dalek was an enemy of the Daleks. But she didn't understand the reaction it had. Before the Doctor told it who she was, it had been willing to converse, but after it found out who she was it went after her. She realized that she didn't really know the Doctor. What kind of person was she traveling with that a homicidal alien psychopath with no capability for fear was scared of her?  
The Doctor was talking again, in a strained, out of breath manner. (Yaz, again, found this dangerously hot. She really was way too far into her feelings for this woman.)  
"Yes, I am your enemy. And if you want this planet you're gonna have to come through me, so why don't you make it easy on yourself and leave now."  
Yaz had never seen the Doctor this aggressive.  
"Conquest has already begun. I have all the information I need. Humanity will surrender. The fleet will be summoned. Total conquest of Earth in 9364 rels."  
The Dalek launched itself out of the ceiling and into the sky.  
"Come on Yaz, let's get to the Tardis."

When they got back to the Tardis, the Doctor marched in to find where the Dalek had gone off to.  
"What information does it have? Where is it going?"  
Meanwhile, Yaz contemplated the events of the past minutes. One question kept plaguing her mind: why was the Dalek so afraid of the Doctor? Surely her bubbly, friendly Doctor had not a bad bone in her body. But when she though about it, really thought about it, she could almost see it. The times when the Doctor's face would lose that happy smile and morph into something more sinister, hinting at a side of her that she clearly didn't want them to see. Like when she managed to convince the Solitract to let Erik go, or when she confronted Becka Savage about her witch trials. Yes, there were depths to the Doctor that she didn't know about. There was a past underneath the happy go lucky exterior that the Doctor had kept deliberately hidden from them. Yaz remembered the times they had tried to get the Doctor to talk about people she traveled with or adventures she went on, and she would change the subject. What exactly was she hiding? What could she have done that a Dalek, a homicidal alien psychopath, was scared of her?  
The Doctor ran around the console, flipping switches and rambling as if nothing was wrong, and Yaz couldn't stand it any longer.  
"Doctor?"  
"Yes, Yaz?"  
"That Dalek, was it...scared of you?"  
"Hm? What gave you that idea?"  
"When it did a scan, it backed away. And it was willing to talk until it found out who you were."  
"Daleks aren't capable of fear." The Doctor said, even as images of her ninth incarnation flashed through her head.

"I reckon right now, deep in your DNA, there's one little spark left, and that's fear. Doesn't it just burn when you face me?"

"That's not an answer."  
"Yasmin, I told you, me and a Dalek is personal." The Doctor's face was stony. Yaz had never seen this side of the Doctor directed at her, and she didn't like it. Still, she needed to know who she was traveling with.  
"But why? Because this whole thing is starting to point to you being a lot more dangerous than I thought."  
"I told you it was dangerous to travel with me."  
"You said the other aliens were dangerous. I never thought that extended to you. You never tell us about your past. Why not?"  
"Oh, Yaz. Brilliant Yasmin Khan. Did you ever consider that the things I may have kept from you were for you own good?"  
"That's not your call to make."  
"Isn't it? It's my story, I reserve the right to keep it private."  
"Not if whatever your history with this thing is put us in even more danger! Don't you think we deserve to know these things up front?"  
"Frankly, no-"  
Yaz was finding the Doctor's apparent determination to contradict everything she said absolutely infuriating.  
"-There is more to this than you could ever imagine. My life is complicated and dangerous, and I don't feel it's something I need to divest the entirety of to you. But, if you want the whole story I will give it to you. And if you want to go home after that, I won't stop you. But you would be better off not knowing. I'm not the person I was before. This version of me is different, less angry and more hopeful."  
"Just tell me why the Dalek was scared of you, please." Yaz begged.  
"The Daleks and my people have a long history. You already know that the Daleks are bred to hate, but they have a special grudge against my people. There was a war. The last great Time War, they called it. Between the Daleks and my people. It was the biggest war the universe had ever seen, or ever will see. Half the universe was destroyed, and had it continued, it would have obliterated every race among the stars. The Timelords lost sight of themselves in that war. We had prided ourselves on being a peaceful people until that point, but in the war we lost that and became an arrogant race of soldiers. So I ended the war. I did it the only way I could. I burned the entire planet and killed Daleks and Timelords alike. It wiped out the Timelords, and I though it took the Daleks too. I was wrong. Since that day, I've run into the Daleks many times, and each time I think i'm finally rid of them, only to have them pop up again. I killed my entire people in vain. But that's not all. In the legends of the Dalek homeworld, I'm called the Oncoming Storm. It's not just my history with Daleks. Everywhere I go, people die. I am powerful, so incredibly powerful, and sometimes I let it get too far. I take lives I shouldn't because they threatened people I care about. I become reckless because I want to end up as collateral damage. I hail myself as the victor and claim the laws of time as my own. I've caused so much grief and death. So yes, Yaz. The Dalek was afraid of me, and for good reason. But I've changed. This regeneration is so much kinder than the others."  
She was pleading with Yaz. She was clearly terrified of being alone. Yaz wasn't having it.  
"I don't think you are different. I saw your face when you told it you weren't human. You knew exactly how it was gonna react. When you told it you were the Doctor, you knew it would be scared. I saw it in your eyes. I don't think you're really so different from your old selves. I think they are still in there, and you do what you can to suppress them, but they jump out. You said it yourself, you keep them with you."  
"Do you want to go home then?" The Doctor asked tiredly.  
"I don't know. I don't know what I want. I've never had a reason to be scared of you before, and I wasn't lying when I said I wanted more. But I thought you were someone different."  
The Doctor shook her head.  
"I never misled you. I told you it wouldn't always be safe. If you assumed that that excluded the possibility of me being dangerous, that's on you. Regeneration is complicated. There are parts of me that never change, aspects of my past that are so fundamental I can't get rid of them. But I also do what I can to shape each version of myself into who I need to be. And right now I need to be kind, kinder than I've ever been. I'm not pretending to be someone I'm not. I'm still figuring myself out, and part of that is discovering where I have to drop the kindness in favor of saving the Earth. I'm not so different from what you saw this time around, there's just more to it."  
Yaz though about that for a minute.  
"Doctor, I...I'm at a loss. I don't think I could go back to my old life now that I've seen your way of living, but, at least right now, I'm terrified being in the same room as you."  
"Oh, Yaz. I wouldn't hurt you. Not you. Never you."  
"And why is that? What distinction is there between me and one of your enemies. What makes me different? Traveling with you, that's it. If I hadn't been on that train, you would step over me given the chance wouldn't you? I saw it in your eyes with that Dalek. You decided then and there that the only people you would stop short of killing to be rid of that thing was us. And I don't even know if you would do that! It's selfish, Doctor!"  
The Doctor went deathly silent, her eyes burning with rage that sent shivers down Yaz's spine, but there was pain behind them that made her reconsider what she'd just said.  
"Yasmin Khan, you have no right to assume you understand why I lay the boundaries that I do. Without me, this planet would have been ruined a thousand times over. Humans would be extinct. I've made mistakes, I admit to them freely. Every day I bear the weight of people that died because I couldn't save them. In this life, I have to look at the bigger picture. My duty is first and foremost keeping history in order and enforcing the Shadow Proclamation. I've come to have a special affection for humans, and I save as many of them as I can. But the Daleks are a problem bigger than humanity. Their mere existence threatens the whole of the universe, and I'm the only one that can stop them. People die when I encounter them, but there's nothing I can do about that. It's their life or the Daleks. I don't like making those choices, please understand that. I wish the burden didn't fall on me, but it does. I'm the only Timelord left, the only one capable of keeping the universe in order."  
Yaz knew she should stop there, but somehow she couldn't get the image of the Doctor passively, unconcernedly watching some human die for a "greater good" out of her head.  
"So because you're a Timelord, you get to decide who lives and dies, you get to play God, is that it?"  
"You think I want to be the one who makes those decisions? I don't want that burden any more than you want me to have it." The Doctor took a breath. "It's like your job as police-"  
"Oh, spare me."  
"No, hear me out. It's like that because you have to enforce the law and you decide who to arrest and who not to, that's in your power is it not?"  
"Yeah..."  
"And, sometimes, you have to pull your gun and decide whether to shoot someone, yeah? And, even though you do your best to avoid it, innocent people get hurt in the process?"  
"Well, yeah, but-"  
"But nothing. I do the same thing. It's my duty to enforce galactic law. Something called the Shadow Proclamation, created by Timelords and other species as the order of the universe. I'm the only left who can enforce it."  
"Doctor, it's on a completely different scale." Yaz protested, "How many have died by your hand because you decided that maintaining galactic order was more important than-"  
"If I were you I would stop right there."  
The Doctor had gone completely still, her eyes icy with barely controlled rage. Yaz's mouth halted in shaping her next word, suddenly more terrified of the Doctor than she had ever been.  
"If you were trying to see how far you could push me, you have certainly done a thorough job of it." The words were delivered in a low growl that made Yaz shiver. Whether in fear or arousal, she couldn't tell. "For your sake and mine, I suggest you walk out of this room and say nothing more until you have figured out whether you want to stay with me or not."  
"Are you scolding me like you're my mum?"  
"Did you hear a single word I just said? You've done enough damage, now go before I do something we'll both regret."  
Yaz knew she shouldn't, but she took those words as a challenge.  
"Are you threatening me? First you patronize me like I'm your child and then you threaten me? What gives you the right?"  
The Doctor spun towards Yaz and crossed the console room in a single stride, which was quite a feat considering her notably-shorter-than-before legs. She placed herself directly in front of Yaz, their faces barely a hair's breadth away from each other. Yaz was forced to look directly into the Timelord's eyes, and what she saw made her instantly regret challenging her. The Doctor's eyes were dark and stormy and entirely endless. Yaz though she was going to get lost in them until the Doctor spoke in a chilling tone that made her weak in the knees.  
"I am the most powerful being in the universe. Making me angry is monumentally stupid, as I demonstrated with the Dalek. I don't want to hurt you, but I am reaching the edge of my control. If you push me any further you are putting yourself in danger."  
"I though you said you would never hurt me?" Yaz taunted, not entirely sure why she insisted on aggravating the Timelord. "Or was that a facade just like the rest of you?"  
One second, Yaz was standing on her own two feet in front of the Doctor, and the next she was being lifted into the air, her breath hitching as she was slammed against the console, the Doctor's hands fisted in the collar of her leather jacket. (Hot damn, thought Yaz, she's stronger than she looks. The things she could do to me - not the time.)  
The Doctor's hips were pinning Yaz's to the console, suspending her so her feet barely touched the floor, and she had her bent slightly backwards so that she was leaning over her, the extra inch she normally had accentuated by the angle at which they were positioned. The Doctor's thigh had ended up shoved between Yaz's knees in the process. (Yaz thought she might pass out with how much that turned her on.) She spoke in a growl that Yaz could barely hear, despite how close their faces were. With every word, Yaz felt the Doctor's breath ghosting across her cheeks.  
"That's enough. One more accusing word. One more and you are out that door, I swear it. I will drop you home and you will never step foot in the TARDIS again. Do you understand?"  
Yaz nodded vigorously, not trusting herself to speak, flustered as she was by the closeness of the Doctor and the timbre of her voice. They stayed in that position, the Doctor glaring into Yaz's eyes, until Yaz forced herself to look away. She ended up looking down, instead of sideways, and her eyes landed first on the Doctor's lips (which she though looked invitingly soft), and then traveled down to her collarbones (the definition of which had her flustered all over again.) When she realized her mistake, she quickly jerked her gaze to the left, but the lingering glance did not escape the Doctor's notice. As she relaxed her grip on Yaz's jacket, moving instead to rest it against her chest, she took a detailed look at her face. Sure enough, her pupils were heavily dilated, her cheeks were flushed, and her lips were redder than normal. (Not to mention slightly parted. No, she chided herself, can't think like that. Although...)  
Sensing a shift in the environment, Yaz turned her face back towards the Doctor. At the same time, she attempted to lower herself back to the floor, only to encounter the Doctor's leg between hers. She drew in a breath as she felt the Doctor's thigh rub against her, and pushed herself back against the console to escape it. (She was surprised, that was all. Definitely nothing more than that.) The Doctor, however, had a different idea. Yaz's reaction confirmed her suspicion, and she decided she couldn't let her off the hook quite yet. She leaned ever closer to Yaz, and the movement brought her thigh back up between Yaz's legs. Yaz gasped as a jolt of pleasure ran through her; not enough to satisfy, but just enough to tease. And then the Doctor brought her lips to her ear, and she had to seriously suppress the urge to moan.  
"If you wanted me to be rough with you, all you had to do was ask."  
It was barely more than a whisper, but the hot breath on her neck sent shivers down Yaz's spine, and she fought back a whimper.  
The Doctor stepped back, seemingly unaffected by the whole ordeal, although inside she was panicking, worried she had gone too far. Yaz stayed put, her mouth slightly open, too stunned to move, and maybe a little concerned that her legs would give out if she tried to use them.  
She must have stayed still for too long because suddenly, the Doctor was back in front of her, face full of concern. (Exactly what Yaz didn't need right about then.)  
"Yaz, are you alright? Did I hurt you? I know I probably shouldn't be asking if you're alright, I was rather aggressive just then. I'm sorry, yeah? Yaz?"  
Yaz was staring at her, completely speechless. Five seconds ago, this woman had been about to kill her, and now she was worried about her well-being. It gave Yaz whiplash.  
"Yaz? You in there?"  
"Yeah, yeah I'm good." Yaz's voice came out strained, contradicting her assessment of her current state.  
"You sure? I gave you quite a verbal beating. Now that I think about it, I am sorry. I shouldn't have lost my temper like that."  
"No, it's partly my fault, I riled you up. And don't say I didn't because I did it on purpose."  
"But...Why would you do that?"  
Yaz blushed profusely.  
"I rather thought you'd figured that one out."  
The Doctor paused for a moment, thinking. Her face lit up as she realized she had indeed figured that one out, and she cocked an eyebrow and smirked at Yaz as she realized the implications of what was going on.  
"Is this a new thing?"  
Yaz shook her head, embarrassed.  
"Yasmin Khan." She began slowly stalking towards Yaz, her head tilted up and to the side.  
(God, Yaz thought, she is impossibly se-)  
Suddenly, an alarm sounded and red lights flashed around the TARDIS.  
"Shit! The Dalek!" The Doctor bolted towards the console, the moment ruined. Almost.  
"We'll continue this later." She said, making smoldering eye contact with Yaz.


	2. Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yaz sees the softest side of the Doctor and knows exactly how she feels about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is wayyy fluffier than the last one, and I kept it mostly PG so if you're reading it in public you're probably fine.

"Take me to the fleet." The Dalek demanded, in a grotesque imitation of Aaron's voice.

"...Fine." The Doctor replied.

Yaz was about to rebuke her for such a stupid decision, but then she saw her face. The Doctor had obvious anger, but underneath was a layer of sad determination, like she had made up her mind to do something she really didn't want to. Yaz didn't know what that thing might be, but after the heated discussion they had had, she was very concerned. She pulled the Doctor aside and whispered to her.

"Where are you taking that Dalek?"

"It asked to go to the fleet."

"Would you stop it with the answers that aren't answers. I'm touched that you refuse to lie to me, but jeez."

"Why do you say I refuse to lie to you?"

"Don't change the subject. What's really going on?"

The Doctor paused for a moment, debating exactly what to tell Yaz. She didn't want to lie to her, Yaz had been right on with that, but she wasn't sure how much would make Yaz suspect that her plan wasn't exactly watertight.

"Doctor, out with it."

"I'm just gonna throw it in a supernova."

"What's the catch?"

The Doctor was simultaneously proud of Yaz and angry at herself for picking up another one willing to hold her to the mark. She decided she would try playing stupid, even though Yaz was likely to see right through it.

"Catch? Why would there be a catch?"

"You are the worst at playing innocent, it's almost insulting." (Yep, count on Yaz to call her on her bullshit.) "Do you think I'm stupid?"

"No, of course not."

"Then tell me what's going on!"

Yaz's face was getting red quickly, and she had her angry police look on. (The Doctor thought to herself that she really ought to stop making Yaz angry.)

"Well, see, the problem...is that the Dalek is...sort of...attached to Aaron and I don't exactly have a way to get it off."

"So Aaron is also getting thrown in a supernova."

"Not necessarily, I can set up a vacuum corridor only large enough for the Dalek, and Aaron should be fine."

"Mhmm, that's not the idea I got when you came up with this plan."

"What do you mean?"

"Your face. You definitely knew you would have to make a sacrifice to get rid of the Dalek."

"Okay, yeah, there's a bit more to it-"

"God, next time just tell me the whole story in one shot. It's much easier that way."

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, the vacuum corridor is going to expand, and if the Dalek doesn't slip off before it gets too big, Aaron will go with it."

"Isn't there something else you can do?"

"Nothing that will kill it, no."

"How about something that won't?"

"No." The Doctor's face hardened.

"Doctor, this is Ryan's dad we're talking about."

"Even if I was willing, there's nowhere to take it. The fleet isn't here, it never was."

"Can't you take it to it's home planet?"

"As soon as the TARDIS materializes, we'd be as good as dead. They have a bounty on me and a lookout for the TARDIS."

"Alright. Let's do this then."

The Doctor flipped a switch, and the TARDIS stilled.

"We've landed." Her voice was grave.

Aaron stepped towards the doors and opened them, revealing a brilliant supernova.

"What is the meaning of this?" The Dalek demanded.

"Sorry, mate. I told you to leave the Earth alone. You didn't listen. This is what happens."

The Dalek struggled to maintain it's hold on Aaron as the vacuum corridor widened, just like the Doctor said it would. Aaron grabbed the doors in an attempt to keep himself from getting sucked out into space.

"Dad, grab onto me!" Ryan cried.

"No, Ryan." The Doctor dragged him back, away from his father. "No use losing both of you."

"Doctor, close the corridor. Close it for God's sake!" Ryan screamed hysterically.

"No can do." The Doctor replied, watching passively as Aaron fought to hang on. 

Eventually, the pull became too much and he let go, flying out of the TARDIS and into empty space, a wretched scream following him out. Ryan threw himself on the floor, sobbing. Graham went to him and hugged him.

"I'm so sorry, son. I know you'd only just gotten him back. I know how much that meant to you."

Ryan cried harder and clung to Graham.

"Doc, I think it'd be best if you took Ryan and me home for a bit. Just to figure things out, ya know." Graham said softly.

"Yeah, I'll do that."

She flipped some switches and sent the TARDIS into flight.

"Why didn't you close the doors?" Ryan asked, looking up at the Doctor.

"I couldn't let the Dalek survive. You've seen how dangerous it is. I especially can't let it have control of the TARDIS."

"But you killed me dad!"

"Yes, and I'm sorry about that. I had no choice." 

Her calm demeanor infuriated Ryan.

"How could you?" He screamed. "What gives you the right to decide that killing the Dalek is more important than my dad?"

Graham had to restrain him to keep him from rushing the Doctor.

"I didn't have another option. But even if I had, I might not have taken it. There are things you don't understand. I can't compromise when it comes to Daleks."

"You're lying! You took the easy way out!"

Yaz stepped between Ryan and the Doctor.

"She's right, Ryan. I talked to her about it before."

"So you're in on it too?"

"We're back in Sheffield." The Doctor interrupted.

Graham and Ryan exited the TARDIS. Yaz stayed with the Doctor, although they promised not to go anywhere fun until Ryan and Graham were back.

"Doctor, are you alright?"

"Yeah, 'course. I'm the king of alright."

"Are you sure? Because you look like you're about to cry."

"Timelords don't cry."

"Liar."

"Am not."

"What, seriously? You can't cry?"

"I never said can't."

"Ha! I knew it!" Yaz bumped the Doctor's shoulder lightly. "Now, tell me honestly, what's wrong?"

"Brilliant Yaz, you don't miss a thing do you." The Doctor smiled sadly at her.

"No, I don't. Like I didn't miss that you just changed the subject."

"Ugh, fine. I just feel bad. Ryan was so upset, and it's my fault. Do you think he blames me for what happened?"

"First off, it's not your fault. You had no better option, you said as much. Second, I'm sure he doesn't really think it's your fault."

"I hope so. Stages of grief and all that."

"Although, you didn't exactly make it look like you regretted anything. I mean you stood there watching as if it was nothing. And I know that's not how you feel, but at the time it looked like you didn't care."

"Ugh, God, I wish I hadn't had to do that."

The Doctor rubbed at her face with her hands, looking like a kicked puppy. Yaz's heart broke for her and she wrapped her arms around the Doctor's waist, pulling her in. The Doctor stiffened for a moment, surprised. This regeneration hadn't been particularly physical, and she took a moment to adjust to the feeling. Once she did, she sagged into Yaz's arms, desperately needing the embrace.  
(Think I'm a hugger this time around, she thought. Or maybe it's just because it's Yaz.)  
They stood that way for a while, enjoying the warmth of each other, the Doctor's face buried in Yaz's hair, Yaz's arms wrapped tightly around the Doctor's middle. Eventually, the Doctor pulled away. Yaz immediately missed the warmth of her body. (Just the warmth. Not the intimacy or the physical contact she had been craving. Nope, definitely just the warmth.)

"Yaz?"

"Hm."

"D'you think we could cuddle a bit? Is that something you do?"

(Oh, no. Yaz was not in a good position to be cuddling with the Doctor. Not after the feelings she had been fighting to keep back all day.)

"Um, yeah, sure. How about a movie too?"  
(Damn it, as if she could say no to the Doctor.)

"Yeah! I love movies! We could watch Aladdin!"

Yaz laughed. (The Doctor thought that was adorable and decided to make Yaz laugh as much as possible.)

"Let's go set it up then."

Yaz turned to walk towards the TARDIS theater and felt the Doctor grab her hand. She look back quizzically, but the Doctor just beamed at her and squeezed her hand. (Yaz may have short-circuited for a second.)

Once the movie was set up, they settled on the couch. The Doctor sat down and patted the space next to her, motioning for Yaz to sit there. When she did, the Doctor wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Yaz snuggled into her side, burrowing herself into the warmth of it. She curled her fingers in the Doctor's shirt, pulling herself closer. She pushed her head into the Doctor's shoulder, and she could hear the rhythmic thumping of her hearts. The Doctor dropped a kiss to the top of her head and her hand came to rest there, fingers running gently through her hair. (Yaz thought it was the most heavenly feeling.) They sat in silence, enjoying the movie and each other.

"A whole new world  
A new fantastic point of view  
No one to tell us no  
Or where to go  
Or say we're only dreaming

A whole new world  
A dazzling place I never knew  
But when I'm way up here  
It's crystal clear  
That now I'm in a whole new world with you."

The Doctor's hand moved to her back and started drawing lazy circles. Yaz sighed and wiggled deeper into her, feeling utterly content. As the Doctor continued her circles, her hand migrated down Yaz's side, to the sliver of skin where her top had ridden up past her jeans. When the Doctor's fingers met skin, Yaz drew a breath. The motion stopped, the Doctor's hand pausing while still touching her skin.

"Alright?" she murmured.

Yaz nodded against her, stuck between desperately missing the calming motion and being driven crazy by the feeling of the Doctor against her skin.

The Doctor resumed her circles, dragging Yaz's top up slightly with each one. (Even though the situation was decidedly not sexual, Yaz felt herself heat up. She immediately felt guilty.) The Doctor accidentally curled her fingers, letting a nail lightly brush Yaz's skin. Yaz let out a slightly startled squeak, gripping the Doctor's shirt. (The Doctor made a mental note of her reaction. Just in case that information might be relevant at some point in their future.)

Some time later, Yaz let out a long yawn. She was absolutely exhausted from their day.

"D'you want to go to bed?" the Doctor whispered, smiling down at Yaz.

"No. Want snuggles." Yaz mumbled sleepily.

The Doctor chuckled to herself.

"Snuggles with Yaz, amazing."


	3. Fruition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which both Yaz and the Doctor come to terms with their feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is not really any plot in this chapter beyond Yaz and the Doctor's relationship so I apologize for that.

Once Yaz fell asleep, the Doctor eased herself out from under her and went to grab a blanket. She laid it over Yaz gently, careful not to wake her, and crawled in next to her, her front flush against Yaz's back. Yaz shifted, and she worried she had disturbed her, but she just curled herself around her and sighed in her sleep. The Doctor smiled, her heart swelling at the display of trust and affection coming from Yaz. She knew that she was falling for the human too quickly, but she was powerless to stop it.

When Yaz woke the next morning, she felt a warm body next to her. It took her a minute to remember where she was, but once she did she turned her head to see if the Doctor was awake. She was, and she was smiling over at Yaz. 

"You stayed."

"'Course I did."

"You didn't have to."

The Doctor looked confused.

"You said you wanted snuggles. Who am I to deny Yaz snuggles?"

"Well, thank you for staying."

"You're quite welcome."

She was wriggling against Yaz, clearly itching to get up and moving, but trapped between Yaz and the back of the sofa.

"If you want to get up, just climb over me. I don't mind."

"Hm? No, I'm fine."

"You're gonna make me get up, aren't you?"

"No! That's exactly what I'm trying to avoid."

"Doctor, you're practically vibrating with energy. Get up."

"But-"

"Up!"

The Doctor grumbled and propped herself up on her forearms, eyeing the floor on the other side of Yaz.

"Oh my God, you're absolutely impossible." 

Yaz grabbed the Doctor's arm and dragged her overtop herself in an attempt to hurry her off the couch. She hadn't fully thought the process through, however, and instead of landing safely on the floor, the Doctor ended up directly on top of her. She hadn't even been prepared enough to stop herself with her arms, so they were chest to chest. Yaz looked up at the Doctor, their faces very, very close. Yaz felt herself blush furiously as she realized what she had done. The Doctor, infuriatingly, just grinned.

"Is somebody feeling bold this morning?"

"I didn't- I just meant to-. Ugh, you were supposed to land on the floor. It didn't quite go as planned."

"Mm. Or did it?" The Doctor poked her tongue between her teeth and smiled cheekily.

"Oi, shut up and get off."

At this point, Yaz was about as red as she could get. The Doctor raised herself up on her forearms and extended one leg to the floor, the other knee consequently digging into Yaz's thigh as she shifted her weight.

"Ow, Doctor!"

"Shit, sorry!"

It was the Doctor's turn to go red as she glanced at her companion, feeling guilty.

"I was thinking, how about we go somewhere, just the two of us for a change."

"But we promised Ryan and Graham."

"If you don't want to, we don't have to I just thought...it might be fun?" The Doctor backtracked.

"Yeah, I think I'd like that. Besides, what they don't know won't hurt them."

The Doctor laughed.

"So, where are you thinking?"

"Me? You're the one that suggested going someplace."

"Well, what are you in the mood for?"

"Someplace relaxing, with good food and a beach."

"A girl after my own heart. Well, hearts." The Doctor quipped.

Yaz blushed, the statement just a bit too close to home. After the encounter they had had the day before, she thought maybe there was something between them. The Doctor had certainly seemed to be suggesting something of the sort. But today things seemed back to normal. Platonic, heartbreaking normal.

"Yaz? You alright? We've landed."

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be."

"You had a sad face on, that's all."

"Did I? Hm. Where did you take us?" (The Doctor noticed the subject change, of course, but decided to let it go.)

"Funny enough, we're on the planet Caribbean. The sea on Earth is named after this planet. The inhabitants thought the water reminded them of their home planet after they crash-landed there."

"Oh! That's interesting."

"Yeah, isn't it? You'll need a swimsuit. Here, follow me, the TARDIS has a bunch!"

They ran down the corridors until they reached the largest closet Yaz had ever seen. It had racks and racks of any kind of garment Yaz could ever want. She stood in awe for a moment.

"This is amazing."

"I guess. Never thought about it. The suits are back here."

They wandered to a back aisle absolutely overflowing with every style of swimsuit Yaz could imagine. There was everything from the skimpiest bikinis to full body wetsuits. Feeling adventurous, Yaz opted for a lavender strappy bikini top with a lattice opening down the middle and black, cheeky, low-rise bottoms. The Doctor also went for a bikini, hers a yellow and white striped triangle bikini with an extra strap round her middle. She chose black, cheeky, high-waisted bottoms to go with it. They both got changed and walked out to show their looks off. Yaz was star struck by the way the high-waisted bottoms seemed to perfectly fit the Doctor's personality and body shape. Her hips were accentuated and a good portion of her ass was exposed. (Yaz, being thirsty, was especially keen about the latter.) The Doctor actually physically stopped in her tracks when she saw Yaz. Her back was entirely on display, and it was a little much for the Doctor to process. She stood there, mouth hanging open, as Yaz spun in a slow circle.

"Is it okay? Is something hanging out somewhere?" Yaz asked concernedly.

"No, no sorry. Got distracted by your back."

"My back? What's wrong with my back?"

"Nothing, it's just a lot of skin - I mean...I'm not used to seeing that much of you - I mean..."

The Doctor's face got redder each time she tried to fix her mistake. Yaz thought it was cute.

"You got flustered because you can see my entire back. You're a useless lesbian like the rest of us! I knew it!"

Yaz doubled over with laughter, finding it hilarious that the Doctor, seemingly so in control all the time, was having the same issues she had always had.

"Hey! What'd you mean by that?"

"Just that a lot of lesbians have that problem where we get mesmerized by female skin. Dunno why, it's just a thing."

"Hm."

They walked out of the TARDIS and onto the beach. The sand was warm and golden beneath their toes, the give of it feeling delightful. The water was clearer than Yaz thought possible, and she could see all the way to the bottom of the body of water.

"How deep does that go, Doctor?"

"It's incredibly deceptive. It doesn't slope like the beaches on Earth. It's a fissure in the ground that filled with water, so it's a sheer drop on the edge. I think it's about fifty kilometers deep at its deepest point, which is almost five times the depth of your Mariana Trench."

"So that thing at the bottom that I can see from here is absolutely enormous."

"Yeah, probably."

"Okay, I am proper creeped out."

"No need. It's a popular tourist destination."

"Is it safe to swim in?"

"If you know how to swim, yeah. You can see everything in the water, so you will see anything dangerous long before it can get anywhere near you."

Yaz was wonder struck by the beauty of the water before her. She beckoned the Doctor towards the edge, dipping her toe to test the temperature. It was surprisingly warm. The Doctor wasted no time and dove right in, her form absolutely gorgeous. Yaz should have been surprised, with the clumsy way the Timelord moved, but somehow, she wasn't.

"Come on, Yaz! It's warm!" she cried when she surfaced.

Yaz laughed and eased herself in next to the Doctor, dipping underwater momentarily to wet her hair. (The Doctor thought she looked graceful and elegant, the way she rose above the water and ran her hands through her hair.)

"This is nice. Relaxing." The Doctor said.

"Yeah." Yaz agreed. "But all this treading water is gonna get tiring pretty quick."

"Oh, well there's a little bench-looking thing over there that we could sit on?"

They swam over to a stone outcropping and sat. Well, Yaz sat. The Doctor did a swimming version of pacing, swimming back and forth and spinning herself around.

After a while, they got out, sufficiently relaxed.  
Yaz's eyes were immediately drawn to the way the water ran in rivulets down the Doctor's body, her eyes tracking a droplet as it slid down her toned stomach. The Doctor caught the look and raised an eyebrow.

"See something you like?" She taunted.

"Oh, shut up." Yaz rolled her eyes fondly.

They wandered over to where the Doctor had set up a blanket by a large rock. The Doctor sat down with her back against the rock and closed her eyes, looking utterly serene.

"Oi! Budge over, I haven't got anywhere to sit if you take up all the space!" Yaz complained.

The Doctor simply cracked her eyes open and patted the space between her legs. Yaz shrugged and sat down, leaning back after a moment and resting her head on the Doctor's stomach. It was quite peaceful, lying there with her head rising and falling with the Doctor's breath. She could hear her heartbeats, and it lulled her gently to sleep.

She was shaken from her nap by a feather-light kiss on her head. She smiled to herself, a little overwhelmed by the softness of the gesture. She looked up at the Doctor, who met her gaze with a warm smile. (Yaz had never felt so much love for one person before.) 

Suddenly, the Doctor's stomach began to shake. Yaz looked up, alarmed, but the Doctor was laughing.

"Look over there. See that boy? He just tripped over his own feet and fell in the water, fully clothed!" 

Yaz started laughing, too. Then, she watched as a woman unwrapped a sandwich and it was promptly stolen from her by a seagull. (Good to know they are a universal nuisance, Yaz thought to herself.) The woman proceeded to chase after the seagull, managing to grasp one of it's legs. It flapped it's wings uselessly before shitting on her hand. The woman screamed and let go, the seagull flying off with it's prize. Evidently the Doctor had also witnessed the scene, and both of them were rolling on the ground in absolute hysterics. 

Once they got the laughter out of their systems, they sat up, facing each other.

"Can I just say," Yaz started, "this, traveling, you; I love it. You've shown me so many wonderful things. Back in Sheffield, before I met you, all I wanted was to make a difference in people's lives. And you've given me that chance. I won't ever forget this."

"That's very kind of you." The Doctor smiled sadly at Yaz, lost in memory of all the others that had said something to that effect.

"I mean it, you know. You've done me so much good, taught me to be better."

They gazed at each other softly, Yaz noticing the faraway look in the Doctor's eyes and wanting nothing more than to make her happy again, before glancing away.

"I could say the same of you."

Yaz looked back up at the Doctor, startled by the affection in her voice.

"I've been absolutely awful to you, shown you the darkest side of me, and you've done nothing but forgiven me. You keep me in my place. I don't know what I'd do without you." The Doctor was looking straight into Yaz's eyes, trying to convey how much she meant was she was saying.

"Doctor..." Yaz breathed, her eyes flitting to her lips.

The Doctor brought one hand up and placed it on Yaz's cheek, stroking it with her thumb. The other came to rest on her thigh as she leaned in halfway, lips parted, waiting for Yaz to close the distance, making sure this was what she wanted. It was exactly what she wanted and she brought their lips together, eyes fluttering shut. Yaz was overwhelmed with sensation. The Doctor's lips on hers were warm and soft, her thigh where the Doctor's hand rested on it was hot and alive with the touch. The Doctor moved closer to her, knees on either side of her thighs, her hands coming to rest on the bare skin at Yaz's waist. One slid up her leg from where it had been gripping her thigh, and the other lazily made it's way down her cheek, over the swell of her breast, and across her stomach. Yaz tangled her fingers through the Doctor's hair as the Doctor swiped her tongue into Yaz's mouth, deepening the kiss. In that moment, everything was perfect, and neither of them wanted it to end. 

Then Yaz realized she had to breathe and pulled back from the kiss, sighing. She rested her hands on the Doctor's shoulders and smiled softly at her, content. The Doctor looked down at her, lips red and swollen, and all Yaz wanted to do was kiss her again. So she did, grabbing the Doctor's waist, pulling her to her roughly and crashing their mouths together, wasting no time in plunging her tongue into the Doctor's mouth. The Doctor responded just as heatedly, rising up on her knees so she was above Yaz and gripping the back of her head to angle her face up towards her. Yaz groaned as the Doctor guided her onto her back. Then the Doctor realized they were on a public beach and hastily rolled off of her. Yaz gave an indignant squeak before she came to the same conclusion that the Doctor did and turned scarlet.

"Maybe we should take this back to the TARDIS." She mumbled, embarrassed.

"Yeah, probably." The Doctor giggled and folded up the blanket. 

They walked back to the TARDIS, staring straight ahead and avoiding eye contact with the other beachgoers. Once they had closed the doors behind them they burst into laughter.

"Never doing that again. The on a public beach part, not the kissing part." Yaz clarified as the Doctor shot her a scared look. "The kissing part was fantastic. I'm definitely up for doing that again. How did you get so good at that anyway?"

"Two thousand years of practice."

"Shit, sometimes I forget you've been around." Yaz laughed.

"Old age has it's perks. We should probably get out of these suits and back into dry clothes."

"Good idea. Actually, I'm feeling sort of motivated, I think I'm gonna get myself a workout. You're welcome to join if you like."

"I think I will." The Doctor smiled. Yaz smirked back.

"Any chance to see me shirtless." She teased, dodging the Doctor's responding swipe.

She raced off down the corridor, the Doctor hot on her heels.


End file.
